Wearing loose-fitting pants AND shirts can make you look guyish. It’s easier to sort the real men from the children when I know they aren’t in it for the sex. Guys don’t stare at your butt if you don’t have one. Stores always have my size in the cute designs. Those suckers are sent straight from Satan himself. Chairs, benches, floors, and don’t even let me get started on bleachers at baseball games. The second I sit down, they’re adjusting, trying to accommodate my bony butt that’s digging into their legs. Don’t even think about sitting in someone’s lap.Īnyone courageous to let me sit in their lap is in for a world of pain. My butt takes up practically no space, and when it’s time for a road trip, I’m suddenly everyone’s best friend. Car rides are a breeze!ĮVERYONE wants to sit by me in the car. Pulling a Miley Cyrus isn’t a good idea anywhere.

…but sweatpants shopping is a bit more tricky.Įven with the elastic, sweatpants that cover my long legs tend to have way more room in the trunk than I need. Shopping for skinny jeans is ten times more fun…īuying skinny jeans is a breeze. Shopping for belts is a nightmare.īelts are ALWAYS too big, and they never fail to have about a mile of excess that has to be tucked into itself multiple times. Children’s section, here I come! They fit perfectly, look the same, and all for a fraction of the price.

Athletic shorts are crazy expensive-unless you have no butt.

Women with flat butts